Sharing My Struggle

Yesterday, I went and had a "body analysis" done. Are you familiar? It's when you go and stand bare-footed on this scale that tells you everything that is wrong with your body with a level of omnipotence that rivals that of my own spidey-like senses with my children. Of course, the girl performing said analysis was gorgeous and perfect. It wouldn't be right if someone who was a bit of a chubster like myself performed these tortures---the humiliation would not be quite as acute.

I knew it wouldn't be pretty. I realized that I had "put on a few" since The Rene' and I got married---I have stacks of awesome jeans I can't get into to prove it. But when the little receipt-like printout arrived, I was completely unprepared for the results. I had not "put on a few" ---I had put on 20lbs!!! Not only that, Miss Perfect informed me that I am like 50% fat! I am as buoyant as an ocean dingy!

***Insert sobbing sounds here***

After listening to Miss Perfect's weight loss plan, that, in the grand scheme of things cost the equivalent of a small island nation, I decided to honor my history major roots and RESEARCH.

I toddled off to Barnes and Noble thinking that I could just buy a book that would tell me everything I ever needed to know and would help me bounce back like Heidi Klum.

There were 7432 diet books and probably double that in the exercise section. How do you decide which one is the right one when every single one of them claims to be THE RIGHT ONE!!! I perused a few determined to find THE one that will turn this chub scout into a sleek vixen in 7 days (or my money back.)

But........

Have you ever noticed that the cookbook section at Barnes and Noble is diagonally oriented from the exercise and diet section? What kind of cruel irony is this? Not to mention the sexuality and relationship section is right directly across from it as well. How could one not get distracted???

Needless to say, I left without a diet book. I did however, purchase a neat-o bookmark.

I do want to lose weight. I am serious about it. The truth is, my weight has been a life-long struggle. When the body analysis lady asked me yesterday what weight had been my lightest, I told her 7lbs 7oz....my birth weight! I have always been an overweight person and to think I will be able to conquer this in one fad diet or one colon cleanse is dumb. I just don't want to be one of those boring people who spend all their time talking about whole foods and the density of their poops.

So here is day one of my blog. My hope is to put at least something up every other day or so...and to encourage me and you. Nice comments are welcome. Mean comments will be destroyed with prejudice. :)

Happy Day!