The "Little Devil" In Me

Lately, I have been faced with some life circumstances that, in addition to being extremely painful, are completely out of my ability to handle or repair.  As a founding member of "Jessica's Control Freak Society", to say I dislike this helplessness is a massive understatement.

When faced with circumstances such as these, the storms of life, I have a choice to make.  I can either throw myself on God's mercy, praying that He gives me the grace and peace to make it through OR I can throw myself around in useless activity and relentless mental gymnastics.  Today when I was doing the gymnastic thing, I thought of myself like this "little devil"...

Much like my buddy "Taz", I spin myself in circles, I splutter and choke and jump up and down wanting this challenge to just be over already.  I grow weary of the storm, I get sick of the pain, and honestly, I occasionally just want to lie down and not get up. Ever.  

"The LORD hath His way in the whirlwind and in the storm." 

Nahum 1:3

Here's the thing:  God IS going to have His way, whether I cooperate or not.  When Brennan was little and didn't want to go where I asked him to go, he would "drop anchor" and I would be forced to pick him up and physically move him (usually gaining himself a painful bottom at the end of the trip).  Well, God as my Father, is not opposed to picking me up and putting me where He told me to go.  Like Brennan, I will end up where my parent put me; it just tends to hurt more when they have to do the moving!

The neat thing to realize about the whirlwind and storm is not only will God have his way in them, but he is IN them.  He is right there next to me, battling it out, dragging me when necessary and comforting me when my spirit flags.  I am so grateful to have such an amazing Father.  I am so glad He keeps revealing the stubborn parts in me, because honestly, the "little devil" look isn't all that flattering on me.