Nothing Has the Power to Save....

I have been thinking a lot about my now, non-existent diet. Honestly, I am irritated and embarrassed with myself. I mean, who announces to the world that they are going to lose all this weight, start a blog and then.....

DOES NOTHING!!!

Uh...that would be me.

I am still trying. Sort of. I am still trying to make good choices, and stay away from the sweets but I have never met a piece of pizza that I can say no to. So, since I have nothing good to say about my diet at the moment, I am going to focus on something else. God.

I feel that I have marginalized God in my life. I feel as though I have taken my life back from Him this past year. I am not gonna lie, it has been a really rough 10 months or so. Newlywed, blended family, moving, teenager issues, unemployment, personal disappointment and unhappiness with my job. So much in my life felt so wrong for so long! I just kinda stopped giving it to God. I took it away from Him to "handle" for myself. Yeah, that was an EPIC mistake.

Will I ever learn that I cannot do this myself? Will I ever stop taking God from His rightful place on the throne of my life and just follow?

One of the things I love about Jesus is that He is so gentle with me. He is no bully! He doesn't butt his way into my life. He just lets me flounder around until I am sick of myself and exhausted from a futile battle. So, here I am again...on my face...begging Jesus to rescue me from my greatest enemy: ME!

I am too smart to make some grand proclamation of never straying again...I know better. I do love Jesus and the more I cling to that rather than leaning on my own understanding the better things will be. I have hope...

Now, if only I could a handle on that little problem I have with pizza....

Dieting takes a Vacation

Last week I took a vacation. And so did my diet. Actually, my diet went south....3lbs straight to my buttocks.

I can sit here and give all types of excuses. I was on vacation. Why can't I enjoy myself? I will never get the chance to eat ribs at Disneyland again! I may never get the chance to eat ice cream from Disneyland again! I may never get the chance to eat pizza, and churros and caesar salads and, and, and, and..... Well. You get the point.

Then there was the delicious breakfasts The Rene's precious mother made every morning. And the amazing mexican dinner we had...sigh. Why is eating so much fun?

Honestly, I am a little discouraged. I was doing so well and then I lost my momentum. I came back from vacation, weighed myself and sort of gave up.

I am learning that there will always be excuses for me to overeat. First it was vacation, then Joe's birthday, then Easter, then Donut Monday....whatever. Bottom line, it was amazingly simple for me to fall back into my old bad habits. What is interesting is how much those bad habits feed into a defeatist kind of mentality. Tonight I had ice cream. Know why? Because I had already blown it with multiple donut holes this morning.

However.....

Just writing this blog, I am renewed with hope. I am not the only one who is struggling. Time for me to get off the pouty pot and get back to work. I have a life to save! MINE! I have to renew my focus and rededicate myself to this task. I am going to lose weight. I am going to make wise choices. I don't care if its a vacation that arises, a holiday or just a boring Monday morning. I have too much invested in this process to give it all away for a stupid deep-fried wad of bread with icing on it. I want to succeed. I want to surprise myself. I want to exceed my own expectations. I want to do this!

Tomorrow it is back on the bandwagon. I am going to start all over again. If you are reading this blog, and you have fallen down...take heart! We can do this! Pretend you are in kindergarten and you have lost a game of four-square. What do you ask for? A do-over! We are going for a do-over you and I. We are brave over-comers and we can do this!

Let's all give a cheer for the do-over!