I have a lot on my mind. Mainly random stuff and nothing too deep. I thought I would do a blog entirely comprised of my random thoughts. Are you ready for a small insight into my brain? Be prepared; it's scary in there.
RANDOM THOUGHTS
1) I kind of want a cape. Not because I think I would look great in one or because I am trying to make a statement. It would mainly be so I could walk really fast and have the cape woosh out behind me like Darth Vader. That would be so rad.
2) Speaking of "wooshing", one of the main reasons I love having long hair is because I love it when my hair is whipped back by the wind. I feel like Ariel from The Little Mermaid or Bonnie Tyler in her "Total Eclipse of the Heart" video. (If you haven't watched that one in a while, make a point to do so...it's so weird!)
3) I accidentally read a spoiler on the season three ending of "Downton Abbey" over a week ago and I am still mad that it happened. When someone makes a genealogy for a television show, they should not put "deceased" on a character so soon after the season ended! Sheesh!
4) I burned my arm really badly on a curling iron a couple days ago. It burnt all the arm hair off and is blazing red. It hurt like a mamma jamma and has cured me of any desire I have of obtaining gorgeous locks via a rod heated to molten-lava consistency. It's blistering and will probably leave a scar...a big one. Curling iron-1, Jessica-0.
5) I recently made the realization that I follow season goodies with the same fanaticism of a pre-pubescent Justin Bieber fan. Fall is candy corn. Christmas is chocolate covered cherries. Valentine's Day is for boxes of chocolates, then Girl Scout Cookies. Next is Easter and Cadbury Creme Eggs and Cadbury Mini Eggs. After Easter we head into Summer and then it's time for ice cream and s'mores. No wonder I am overweight! :)
6) My neighbor's dog is named Monte. I think that is awesome. Only problem is that Monte barks like he's eaten a ball of meth the size of an orange.
7) I need to get a job because I really miss my Sock Monkeys. They are all packed away in my work boxes and I still haven't had the heart to go through the boxes since I lost my job 10 months ago. Also, my kids bought me a Sock Monkey lunch box last summer that I am dying to use! Job soon please!
8) This morning when I was making the bed, I thought I saw a black spider and started pounding it with a book. It was a fuzz from my black socks. It's dead though, so that is good.
9) My favorite milkshake is Caramel. I really want one right now which is why this is relevant.
10) I worry sometimes what I am going to do with myself when I am an old lady. I don't sew. I don't knit. I don't crochet. I hate gardening. I don't quilt. I don't embroider or anything of the stitchy variety. I will probably end up some crazy grandma that chases kids off my property with a sawed-off shotgun to protect my moonshine still. I will subscribe to TV Guide and sit down every week to circle all my "shows" so I don't miss the 73rd season of "Dancing with the Stars" and Survivor: Mars.
Jess:
ReplyDelete1) I love reading your blog. I wish I was as clever or well spoken as you with such a rad vocab. The most I can do is say poop in a lot of ways.
2) I have always wanted a cape. And a trench coat, and a lincoln continental with suicide doors.
3) With those, I want a seriously sexy body with super whooshy hair that doesn't make me look like I have a horse's head.
4) I have been singing Total Eclipse of the Heart every day for the last 2 weeks. Problem is, I don't know the real words, or many of them, so my kids think I'm crazy. This is why I'm commenting on your post.
5) Me too.
6) I want you to have a job so badly. I'm praying for you sister.
7) I too, have killed sock fuzz. I also have screamed and karate chopped my hair moving when I saw movement in the mirror. I also have issues with fire drills. I feel like we are kindred spirits.
8) I'm quitting here, as I am not trying to 'one up you', I'm just trying to comment reflecting your bullet points, and trying to be organized in doing so. That being said, this is in reference to #10... I also lack domestic skills... I think as an old lady I will be the one with fire, melting wax for fun and playing with duct tape and super glue. Hopefully I will not be using those to hold together my slightly decaying body, or helping to hold in my excrement or something else weird or creepy, but rather as a hobby, like making a forts or something...
I appreciate you. You rock. Now I have to go hunt down some peeps. (They are only good as Easter animals...)
Lisa, we have to be kindred spirits because you "get" me and we haven't even seen each other face-to-face in probably two years!
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