Hope is a strange little monkey. It's everything wonderful and possible yet undefinable and intangible. Hope is the motivating factor that gives so many the courage to put their feet on the floor every day while the absence of it causes others to languish. Hope is a feeling, a destination, an aspiration and a dream. When withheld or denied hope can become the seed that grows into a root of bitterness. As Solomon wisely penned, "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is the tree of life." Proverbs 13:12
It's hard to imagine a life without hope. Hope is why people get married, have children, go to school, invest time in thier friendships, trust in Jesus, take care of each other and take care of themselves. I believe that hope is the nebulous "IT" that is out there for many of us. We don't know what "IT" is, but we keep going, keep pushing, keep knocking and keep dreaming because sometime, somewhere, that hope we have at the very core of our being will be realized making it all worth while.
I remember reading in college about a Nazi war general forcing concentration camp prisoners to move piles of dirt from one side of the camp to the other. Every day the prisoners would be given shovels, buckets and wheelbarrows and were instructed to move the pile back where the dirt had originally been. Hour after hour, day after day, this meaningless exercise in futility would continue. Shuttling dirt piles from one side of the camp to the other. It is said that prisoners who were given this meaningless and pointless task died sooner---their life held no purpose and without purpose they grew ill and died. What a powerful illustration! It is not enough to simply live---people need a reason to.
This begs the question, "Where do you find your hope?"
If you are a regular reader of my blogs, I hope you know what my answer is. I "rejoice in hope of the glory of God." (Romans 5:2) For me, my "IT" is Jesus, and knowing that HE is a hope that "never disappoints" (Romans 5:5a). Make no mistake my friend, sometimes I get distracted from His hope. More often than I care to admit, I start looking at my life and my circumstances and what I expect my life to look like and I find that my "hope factor" is seriously lagging. When I start looking at me, I am doing the present-day equivalent of "shuttling dirt". Looking at myself blurs my vision of God's heavenly purpose for my life and I find myself treading the very worn paths back and forth from meaningless task to meaningless task.
Honestly, I have every earthly reason to doubt. Life is hard for me right now, but because of God, I know it won't always be so. I have a sincere and rock solid conviction that God is going to turn my mourning into dancing...and that is a dance worth waiting, and hoping for.
Saturday, September 29, 2012
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
THE Recipe...Cinnamon Roll Cake
By popular demand...the recipe for the Oh-So-Sinful Cinnamon Roll cake. Notice that I didn't say "MY" recipe. I found this delicious confection on Pinterest...the home of all things wonderful. Anyhoo, to tell you just how good this cake is, the first time I made it, Brennan declared it to be his favorite cake and now wants it for his birthday cake...forever and all eternity. Wow. I thought nothing could replace Coconut Cream Pie! It's been the reigning champ for years!
Now, I give thee free license to cook this as much as you want, but you have to pinkie promise to not bring it to bible studies or Sunday school classes I am in because it's kinda my "go to" dessert. LOL!
Cinnamon Roll Cake
Ingredients:
Cake:
•3 cups flour
•1/4 tsp. salt
•1 cup sugar
•4 tsp. baking powder
•1 1/2 cups milk
•2 eggs
•2 tsp. vanilla
•1/2 cup butter melted
"Cinnamon Roll" topping:
•1 cup butter softened
•1 cup brown sugar
•2 Tbsp. flour
•1 Tbsp. cinnamon
Tasty Glaze:
•2 cups powdered sugar
•5 Tbsp. milk
•1 tsp. vanilla
Instructions
1.Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Spray a 9×13 glass baking pan with cooking spray. Set aside.
2.In an electric or stand mixer add the flour, salt, sugar, baking powder, milk, eggs, and vanilla. Once combined well , slowly stir in the melted butter. Pour into the prepared 9×13 baking pan.
3.For topping, In a large bowl mix the 2 sticks of butter, brown sugar, flour and cinnamon together until well combined and creamy. Drop evenly over the batter by the tablespoonfuls and use a knife to marble/swirl through the cake.
4.Bake at 350 for 35-40 minutes or when a toothpick inserted near the center comes out nearly clean.
5.FOR GLAZE:
In a medium bowl, mix the powdered sugar, milk and vanilla together with a whisk. Drizzle evenly over the warm cake. Serve warm or at room temperature.
Enjoy!!!
Now, I give thee free license to cook this as much as you want, but you have to pinkie promise to not bring it to bible studies or Sunday school classes I am in because it's kinda my "go to" dessert. LOL!
Cinnamon Roll Cake
Ingredients:
Cake:
•3 cups flour
•1/4 tsp. salt
•1 cup sugar
•4 tsp. baking powder
•1 1/2 cups milk
•2 eggs
•2 tsp. vanilla
•1/2 cup butter melted
"Cinnamon Roll" topping:
•1 cup butter softened
•1 cup brown sugar
•2 Tbsp. flour
•1 Tbsp. cinnamon
Tasty Glaze:
•2 cups powdered sugar
•5 Tbsp. milk
•1 tsp. vanilla
Instructions
1.Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Spray a 9×13 glass baking pan with cooking spray. Set aside.
2.In an electric or stand mixer add the flour, salt, sugar, baking powder, milk, eggs, and vanilla. Once combined well , slowly stir in the melted butter. Pour into the prepared 9×13 baking pan.
3.For topping, In a large bowl mix the 2 sticks of butter, brown sugar, flour and cinnamon together until well combined and creamy. Drop evenly over the batter by the tablespoonfuls and use a knife to marble/swirl through the cake.
4.Bake at 350 for 35-40 minutes or when a toothpick inserted near the center comes out nearly clean.
5.FOR GLAZE:
In a medium bowl, mix the powdered sugar, milk and vanilla together with a whisk. Drizzle evenly over the warm cake. Serve warm or at room temperature.
Enjoy!!!
Saturday, September 8, 2012
A Time to Weep and a Time to Laugh
I am annoyed. Not gonna lie. I am. I guess I have reached my limit of platitudes and cliches and am ready for people to stop trying to fix me and just let me feel how I feel.
I am going through a tough time. We are in a major financial crisis, I have no job, I just endured two weeks of hell thanks to my husband's ex-wife, we are probably going to have to move (again) and right now, I feel a little low. I am in a constant pressure cooker of stress, worry and fear. I have to struggle to keep my eyes focused on God and keep my head above water. It can be exhausting and sometimes, I get discouraged. Sometimes, I want to complain. Sometimes, I want to cry. Sometimes, I want to whine.
And you know what? That's okay! I am allowed. It's okay for me to feel sad and crummy ever so often. I should be allowed to share my fears and concerns without judgement. Instead, I have made the discovery that people are not comfortable with sorrow and grief. With sadness and despair. Mourning and crying. Instead, they judge you for being overcome with emotion and tell you things that make you feel as though you lack faith or aren't close enough to the Lord.
Not only is okay for me to feel sorrow, it's biblical. Don't believe me? Take a stroll through Psalms and read the words of David.
David questioned the length and severity of his trials and testings. Just like me.
"My soul is in anguish. How long, O Lord, how long?"
Psalm 6:3
David, the man after God's own heart, cried until his couch was filled with tears. Just like me .
"I am worn out from groaning; all night long I flood my bed with weeping and drench my couch with tears."
Psalm 6:6
David's eyes were weary with grief. He felt down and worn out. Just like me.
"My vision is blurred by grief; my eyes are worn out because of all my enemies."
Psalm 6:7
David, in anguish and sorrow, cries out to God in his time of trouble but struggles with doubt when encountering God's silence. Just like me.
"My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" Why are you so far from saving me, so far from the words of my groaning? O my God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer, by night, and am not silent."
Psalm 22:1-2
This man of sorrow, this man who was a foreshadowing of Jesus, grieved and doubted and wept and became angry and sinned and suffered....just like me.
But that's not where the story ends. Not for David and not for me. Sure, David grieved, but he didn't stay there. And neither do I. He wept and cried, but he also prayed and praised. This man who asked, "Why are you cast down O my soul?" (Psalm 42:5) also penned this blessed assurance, "I waited patiently for the Lord; He turned to me and heard my cry." (Psalm 40:1) I read his words and rejoice!
I think I, like David, sometimes just need to share how I feel. I just need to feel heard. He wrote Psalms, I talk it out. Make no mistake: I do pray. I do study the word. I do spend time with God; but if it weren't necessary for humans to interact and share their feelings, then why did God create Eve for Adam? Sometimes, it's just so nice to vent, get it all out, and have someone say, "I am sorry. I know it's going to be okay." rather than try to fix me.
I know inevitably, that some will read this, and think, "Wow. Jessica's a jerk. I am sure people are just trying to help and she goes on and on about how they are wrong for trying?" I understand that it's a risk and I am really putting myself out there by sharing my frustration. Please know this: I know that my dear friends mean the best, and I love them dearly for it. Since going through this trial however, I have now learned to ask, "How can I help?" first, and save the "fixing" for when I am asked.
I am going through a tough time. We are in a major financial crisis, I have no job, I just endured two weeks of hell thanks to my husband's ex-wife, we are probably going to have to move (again) and right now, I feel a little low. I am in a constant pressure cooker of stress, worry and fear. I have to struggle to keep my eyes focused on God and keep my head above water. It can be exhausting and sometimes, I get discouraged. Sometimes, I want to complain. Sometimes, I want to cry. Sometimes, I want to whine.
And you know what? That's okay! I am allowed. It's okay for me to feel sad and crummy ever so often. I should be allowed to share my fears and concerns without judgement. Instead, I have made the discovery that people are not comfortable with sorrow and grief. With sadness and despair. Mourning and crying. Instead, they judge you for being overcome with emotion and tell you things that make you feel as though you lack faith or aren't close enough to the Lord.
Not only is okay for me to feel sorrow, it's biblical. Don't believe me? Take a stroll through Psalms and read the words of David.
David questioned the length and severity of his trials and testings. Just like me.
"My soul is in anguish. How long, O Lord, how long?"
Psalm 6:3
David, the man after God's own heart, cried until his couch was filled with tears. Just like me .
"I am worn out from groaning; all night long I flood my bed with weeping and drench my couch with tears."
Psalm 6:6
David's eyes were weary with grief. He felt down and worn out. Just like me.
"My vision is blurred by grief; my eyes are worn out because of all my enemies."
Psalm 6:7
David, in anguish and sorrow, cries out to God in his time of trouble but struggles with doubt when encountering God's silence. Just like me.
"My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" Why are you so far from saving me, so far from the words of my groaning? O my God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer, by night, and am not silent."
Psalm 22:1-2
This man of sorrow, this man who was a foreshadowing of Jesus, grieved and doubted and wept and became angry and sinned and suffered....just like me.
But that's not where the story ends. Not for David and not for me. Sure, David grieved, but he didn't stay there. And neither do I. He wept and cried, but he also prayed and praised. This man who asked, "Why are you cast down O my soul?" (Psalm 42:5) also penned this blessed assurance, "I waited patiently for the Lord; He turned to me and heard my cry." (Psalm 40:1) I read his words and rejoice!
I think I, like David, sometimes just need to share how I feel. I just need to feel heard. He wrote Psalms, I talk it out. Make no mistake: I do pray. I do study the word. I do spend time with God; but if it weren't necessary for humans to interact and share their feelings, then why did God create Eve for Adam? Sometimes, it's just so nice to vent, get it all out, and have someone say, "I am sorry. I know it's going to be okay." rather than try to fix me.
I know inevitably, that some will read this, and think, "Wow. Jessica's a jerk. I am sure people are just trying to help and she goes on and on about how they are wrong for trying?" I understand that it's a risk and I am really putting myself out there by sharing my frustration. Please know this: I know that my dear friends mean the best, and I love them dearly for it. Since going through this trial however, I have now learned to ask, "How can I help?" first, and save the "fixing" for when I am asked.
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