A Choice to Suffer

This has been a brutal week. No lie.

It has been painful, heartbreaking, stressful, exhausting, frustrating and LONG! Friday, morning after receiving yet another S.O.S call from the boys' mother, I was on the verge of tears. I felt utterly spent and completely drained. "Lord!", I cried in my soul, "I seriously cannot take any more!" I went to work already exhausted.

I have been a Christian since I was 14- years old. I have walked with God a long time and I know that being a Christian is not a shield from pain and sorrow. In fact there are many, many verses in the Bible that promise the exact opposite:

"Beloved, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though some strange thing were happening to you..." 1 Peter 4: 12

"Not only this, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering works perseverance; " Romans 5:3

"...that I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings becoming conformed to His death; " Philippians 3:10

"The sufferings that you are enduring are for your discipline. God is dealing with you as sons; for what son is there whom his father does not discipline?" Hebrews 12:7

I really hate suffering folks. I don't want to do it anymore! (picture me stomping my foot) In my childish heart, I just want to go about my life, raising my kids, going to church, hanging out with The Rene' and enjoying my suffering-free life. But I know this is never to be. Because there is so much more. God has so much more for my life than a life of mediocrity and beige! God is forming me and making me into a better version of me. God is growing me, shaping me and chastening me in order to bring Him glory and for me to learn to walk in Him. He loves me so much he doesn't want me to stay the same. Christ was God's only son, yet He had to learn obedience from the suffering He endured (Hebrews 5: 8). I am the daughter of God...I am no different.

Every day I have a choice to make. Walk with Jesus on the path He has chosen for me or walk by myself. One path leads to life and one path leads to my destruction. As painful as it is and as hard as it gets, today I am choosing to walk the road of suffering with Jesus. Who better to guide me than one who is so intimately acquainted with grief?