God Showed Up

I have never had much success with New Year's resolutions. Talk about setting myself up for failure! I, like many, want to grow spiritually, lose weight, be more healthy, exercise and avoid corn dogs---but I have never made it more than a few days, at most, two weeks. Maybe it's just too much pressure to put on a New Year. All the failures and "shoulda, coulda, woulda's" of last year, brought into the New Year and held up as the warning sign for how to seriously screw up a year and leave it behind with regret.

Honestly, 2011 was a really challenging year. Financial troubles, unemployment and family problems made the last part of the year especially difficult. Stress and pressure on me as the "bread winner" has given me many sleepless nights and emptied more than one package of Chips Ahoy. I leave 2011 behind with a not fond adieu!

Rene' and I were talking on New Year's Eve and I made the offhanded comment that 2011 sucked. He stopped what he was doing and stared at me. I asked him what was the matter and he said, "2011 didn't suck! Look what God did for us! He provided for us in so many ways, answering our prayers and keeping us afloat." Well, friends, I was pretty ashamed. My hubby is right. They year 2011 will be the year for me that GOD SHOWED UP.

God is always present. I have been a Christian for so long, that I often take His presence and His guidance for granted. In these very difficult times however, the faith that God is always there is easily obscured with worry, doubt and fear. When there is worry, prayer is ineffective. When there is fear, prayers are riddled with fear. When there is doubt, the blessings aren't seen. It was in this moment of my greatest doubts and sadness when God's love broke through.

We received money from unexpected sources to buy our children Christmas gifts. We were given gift cards to grocery stores that provided food for our family. Somehow, even amidst the struggle, the rent was paid, there was heat in our home and food for our baby kitties. The amazing thing? I didn't even ask for any of these things. My prayers were either sporadic or peppered with doubt, fear and self-pity. Yet, God showed up anyway. His love overcame my worry and fear and blessed our family abundantly.

This year, I intend to make a New Year's resolution that for me, should be easy after seeing God's nature even in the midst of my unbelief in the year 2011. This year, I am going to stop looking down at my circumstances and start looking up at Jesus. He is greater than my circumstances, stronger than my doubts and present in my loneliness. God never RSVPs to my pity party, but He always shows up and is never late.